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User blog:Awesomesix/Eminem vs Elvis Presley
As my last battle, I decided to go all out with the people in it. So, here goes nothing... This beat was used to set the tone of the battle, but the lyrics don't flow to it exactly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91jhcBs3OHE Thanks to Tkid for linking a beat, and both Nikki and Tkid for proofreading. AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0! EMINEM! VERSUS! ELVIS PRESLEY! BEGIN! Elvis Presley: I’ve been pelvic thrusting before you muttered your first “Bitch!”, I’m an appiration; the whole nation mourns the loss of Elvis, About to show you how a King can take a God down, Your diamond sellers can’t amount to the worth of my crown, Your songs’ moods swing so much, it’s like Armstrong gone wrong, The worst thing since Paris Hilton to tarnish blondes, You sag more than my eyelids to your squeaky tone, Better make like Kanye and get into your zone, You seem so out of it, like a freak on the side of the street, If you didn’t call everyone a fag, maybe you’d be tough to beat, You know nothing about war, with your toy soldier stories, Even I produced better crap than you in my 40s. Eminem: I’m beginning to feel, like this isn’t worth my time, You sang shit about prison, but never committed a crime, I’ve faced court, judges, you faced death by shitting, You don’t know the pain brought on by rap as a living, You know nothing about being an icon, and paying the price, Nothing about the real world, nothing about losing a life, But I got Proof; you got shaky rhymes and blue sneakers, I spit it hard like shrapnel, harder hitting words than public speakers, My lines aren’t meant to be taken lightly, they got impact, I take my words precisely, I ain’t makin’ no childish dis rap, Putting up with shit worse than your scripts could imagine, Your work is crass, prepare to feel the wrath of what your raps are lackin’. Elvis Presley: You lack charisma, I.Q., and a stable relationship, what next? Gonna get high on drugs and write a disgusting rap about sex? You’re not how people build you up to be, you’re overrated, Don’t expect your jokes to hit hard, when by release they’re out dated, I don’t take crap from those whose biggest works are them writing raps, About how they’re the realest, and the next minute release “Fack”. Come and diss me, I dare you, stop riding your own dick, I bet you’re not as tough as you seem, just some gangster prick. Eminem: Don’t bite off more than you can chew, cause look what happened last time, You became a banana-choking K-Fed, who wrote Christmas shit as a pastime, Your addiction got the best of you, in the end, you died fat on the throne, Your fans outgrew you, no one remembers you, in the end; you’re alone, I got someone to pass on my legacy, your daughter married a pedophile, How's your fame been doing the past few years? Even tabloids haven't seen you in a while. You got your crotch blocked on T.V.? I rapped about a school shooting; twice, This will be the second battle you step out of if you take logical advice. Johnny Cash: I’m here to get this over with. Elvis, I got your back, don’t worry. A few lines is all I need to make Mr. Nut here scurry. At least Presley’s drugs didn’t give out two albums worth of shit, The only prisoner I ain’t supporting, is the Shady man, thin as a stick, Wearing your wife beater, you look like a trailer park resident, Your Guilty Conscience gets the best of you; I’m chilling with the president, Homophobic slurs won’t sell you this time, I can guarantee that. You’d earn your title if it wasn’t for one thing: This white boy can’t rap. Tupac: I’m ‘bout to make the teams even, steppin’ in, hologram style, count on that, We tough rappers don’t take shit from men in ridiculous cowboy hats, Eminem don’t need my help, he can kill muthafuckas by himself, Get a beat done by Dre, and have his shit fly right off the shelf, I got All Eyez on Me, and all my words set to precision, We can literally murder with our flows, but facing us is your decisions, You two country men get as much love from the world as I do from a city, This feud ain’t even that much of a struggle, it ain’t no Biggie. Elvis Presley: Why if it isn’t Mr. Bandana head here himself, you must be messing with my head, At least my fans know when to give up and decide for sure I’m dead. Johnny Cash: Singing Ghetto Gospel won’t help you against men with class like we, Numbers don’t matter, you’re both more blunt than smoking weed. Eminem: I’ve got diamond records, you’ve got to shine shoes to make money, Why don’t you just leave with Elvis, and clean his suede, buddy? Tupac: I’m criticized for being wise; I wrote the book of rap, Eminem’s finishing, Spit solid rhymes so hard, they crush the mic; your chances are diminishing. Freddie Mercury: Did someone say mic? Dahlings, I’m here to settle. Me and Jackson know what’s up, and we’re not afraid to meddle. Don’t talk about shoes, when it’s all about the pants, We’re the two fools here to school you punks with dance. Michael Jackson: OOH! I moonwalk over pathetic artists when I flow from the heart. Judging on intelligence, Elvis had this bull by the horns from the start. My flows are Dangerous, you’ve got it coming, no chance of survival, You know something’s wrong when a thrift store regular’s your biggest rival. Snoop Dogg: You let the doggs out, oh no. And I’m the master with the flow. I run the business, but Eminem be stealing the show. I could do better than you four just by spelling my name, twice, My boy over here Nate will show you that these canines don’t play nice. Nate Dogg: I got the voice to stick out, and the nerve to stick it to ya. I’m not afraid of a dancing queen and some pale crotch grabbing loser. I Keep it G.A.N.G.S.T.A., Nobody Does it Better than N-A-T-E D-O-Double G, We boys keep it hard, you’ve never felt something so troubling. Michael Jackson: I’ve had more trouble with my dad, than you did doing dope, You’re an easy target Nate, all it takes is one stroke. Freddie Mercury: Mama, I killed some men with my flow, and I don’t regret it one bit, You’ll wish this shit was fantasy after team Elvis finishes this shit. Johnny Cash: Snoop, you need to Get Rhythm, and Nate, you need a better name. It feels like Tupacs One and Two, you both just look the same. Elvis Presley: I’ve been In The Ghetto, seen their standards, and none of you stand to meet it. Instead of proving how good you are, all you proved was history keeps repeating. Nate Dogg: Elvis, what’s it like in Heartbreak Hotel? The title was half right. After all your work and effort, it’s sad your music still took your life. Snoop Dogg: Snoopy chillin’ on the dog house, ace pilot with the words, and truth be told, Just standing here, I whipped your asses, a chance you didn’t hold. Tupac: Don’t matter if we’re Black or White, it matters how good you did right now. And M.J., I bet your ass wishes it was still black right now. Eminem: It’s a Hard Life for rappers these days, you four got shit handed to you all life long. Elvis, I got one more question: Why be a king? When you can be a God. WHO WON? YOU DECIDE! AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0, SERIES FINALE! Who won? Eminem's team (Eminem, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg) Elvis's team (Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Freddie Mercury, Michael Jackson) Category:Blog posts